On A Quintessential Vermont Fall Day...

It's fall; a brilliant day, a brisk wind blowing.  Temperatures are dropping tonight and a chilling rain is expected tomorrow.  A quintessential Vermont fall day where the trees are bathed in light for one glorious moment in time.  All of us who live here know change is on the way.  Our mittens are ready, hot chocolate in the cupboard and wood stocked in piles for the long winter ahead.  But not yet.

And on this brilliant day, I sit inside; making lists, trying to make decisions, making one decision and then immediately changing my mind and making another.  And just as the leaves are falling past my window signaling change is upon us so I know change is coming to my life.  What that change will be exactly I still don't know.

I struggle.

The phone rings.  My brother is calling.  "Sounds as though you have a lot of drama in your life." he says.

"Yes, drama, that's correct." I say, I who am adverse to conflict and change of any kind.

"I feel sorry for you." he says.

"Thank you.  I feel sorry for myself." and I feel the tears which are always present now start to fall again.  My face is lined and weary from the tears that fall these days.

"You could leave but the horses keep you stuck." he says.

"Yes, they do.  They keep me stuck.  But they make me happy." And they do.

"You're paying a high price for them."

"Yes, I know." and it's true.  Without the horses, I dream I'd be on a Greek Isle or perhaps I'd be in the South Pacific sitting in an azure ocean letting warm water wash my cares away.

Without the horses, I'd be far away and have oh, so different a life.

But... I have the horses.

I hang up the phone and head out to the pasture on this quintessential Vermont fall day.  As soon as they see me, my four legged friends surround me sniffing my pockets, hoping for a treat.  "Nothing right now girls." and I head up to the top of the pasture to survey the world.  They follow behind.  My pack.  My posse.  My BFFs.  These four legged creatures that keep  me stuck and that I adore.

Up at the top of the pasture; orange and gold surround me and a hint of the red that will soon make its presence known.  It's the kind of beauty that is so fleeting and I think about how fortunate I am to live here on this beautiful Vermont farm on this quintessential fall day.

I think back to my childhood as those who are approaching their senior years tend to do.  My first word as a child wasn't Mama or Dada.  It was horse.  And as soon as I could toddle, I was sitting on the back of a horse and I knew I'd found my home.

And almost as quickly as I discovered horses, I discovered Vermont on a family vacation.  To a young horse crazy girl, Vermont was better than the Magic Kingdom.  Everywhere were farms and horses and from that day forward in my young life, when anyone would ask me what my plans were for my future, I'd say "I'm going to grow up and live on a farm in Vermont and have horses."

And my dream, though deferred, finally came true in my 50s.  I found my home on my Vermont farm and the horses soon followed.  My dream had come true.

But what happens when one person changes, when one person no longer wants the life you have and love and wants something more, something different and expects you to follow along?

I can tell you your heart can break with decisions.

I pray a lot these days.  I pray and then make lists and then I pray some more.

In the pasture with my beloved horses, I search for answers.

I'm not ready to leave.

My dream has come true and I'm living on a farm in Vermont on this quintessential fall day and for a moment, the world is ablaze with color.

And I lie on the ground and look up at the glistening blue sky searching for answers and while I cry, the breathing of my horses who are always by my side comforts me.  For a moment, once again, all is well.

A Fall Day

Yesterday, our local headlines blared "Freeze Warning."  The end of warm weather comes early in Northern Vermont.  And as the shadows lengthened and daylight faded, the air took on a definite chill.  While the wood stove blazed, warming the chilly corners of the house, I headed to my storage trunk and unpacked my fleece sheets and winter down comforter.  And when bedtime came, I opened my window and climbed into my cozy bed only to find my whippets already snuggled under the quilts; my very own little bed warmers.

The room was bathed in moonlight from an almost full moon and as I gazed out on the forest around me and listened to the coyotes sing their lonely night time song, the lyrics to "Golden Slumbers" by the Beatles fill my head, "Once there was a way to get back homeward, once there was a way to get back home.  Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby."  I fall asleep and don't waken again.

Dawn and the world is a frozen, crystal paradise - so beautiful in it's icy simplicity.  I let the horses out of the barn and watch them frolic energized by the clear air - no bugs to bother them, no fly spray necessary.  Yes, for the first time since last spring, there is ice on the water bucket.  Winter won't be far behind.

But not yet.  It's a beautiful day.  The sun is shining and it's just the day for a hike in the woods.  I decide to take my beloved jennet, Bella, as my companion.  Now I love hiking with the horses but they have a decidedly different energy.  Always curious, anxious to trot, to jump obstacles and always wondering when we are headed back to the barn, my horses are a delight but hiking with a donkey is like hiking with your best friend; no need to hurry, time for relaxation and observation along the way and plenty of time to meander and enjoy each other's company.  Yes, Bella would be my companion.

I've been so sad lately, so ill at ease in my own skin but as I head into the woods with the beginnings of fall encircling me, I can feel my sadness drop away.  There, the leaves are turning.

Here, there are branches newly fallen from a storm the other night.

We stop at an apple tree and we each have a snack.  I listen to Bella crunching her apple.  She licks her lips with her big donkey tongue savoring the tangy juice.  She's content and so am I.

I stop to take pictures.  Bella snacks on grasses.  It's a companionable silence we enjoy.

Time to head home.  We would both like to linger but there are chores waiting.

I marvel at the smallest of things - a forgotten bird's nest in a tree, the way the pasture hill rises to meet the sky, leaves starting to turn crimson.

I let Bella back out in the pasture and right away she starts calling for her friends, loud brays, and they come running.  She's embraced again by her herd.

Fall, in Vermont, a special time, when for a brief moment everything feels possible again.

A Commercial Break - Scentsy Charitable Cause Warmer

I've been a Scentsy consultant for a few years now and although I don't use my blog to promote sales and hold my readers hostage to commercials, I'm making an exception this time.  For the Fall season, Scentsy has elected to make a charitable warmer that supports veterans.  The name of the warmer is "Service and Sacrifice" and the charity supported is The Mission Continues.  The Mission Continues Empowers post 9/11 veterans to transition from the military to leadership positions in their communities at home.  

For each warmer purchased, Scentsy will donate $8.00.

As a military wife for 30 years, I believe in and support charities that support our men and women in uniform and veterans.  I have special incentives to purchase this warmer but I'm not allowed to post them on my blog so please leave a comment if you are interested.

Here's a photo of the warmer.

You can read more about the warmer by going to my Scentsy website.  Just click HERE.

God bless our men and women in uniform and our veterans.

Have a wonderful week and thanks for visiting.

Hogs Gone Wild

Have you ever browsed tv channels and something caught your eye?  That's what happened to me last year.  The show was on the Discovery Channel and the title was "Hogs Gone Wild."  Right before my eyes, I saw pigs swarming property, attacking humans and destroying everything in their path.  The show entirely changed what I thought about pigs.

I've been interested in adding pigs to the farm for years.  I did my research (or so I thought) and I decided on Red Wattle Hogs.  Red Wattles used to populate many of our farms years ago but they fell by the wayside as factory farming came into existence and the emphasis changed from family farm to large scale food production.  There's been a resurgence of Red Wattles lately and after learning more about them, they sounded just right for my farm but that was until I saw Hogs Gone Wild.

Pigs are wonderful but they have one thing on their mind - eating.  And in their frenzy to eat they can become quite excited.  Red Wattles weigh in at 1,000 pounds.  Hmm, a 1,000 pound eating machine?  Not for me.  Especially after hearing true stories of people killed by pigs at feeding time.

I decided to remain pigless.  I saw photos of adorable teacup pigs who shared homes with their people but I really was looking for farm animals and the idea of sharing space with a pig just wasn't that appealing to me.

I started seeing posts on Facebook (where else?) about Kune Kune pigs.  Supposedly they were very friendly and didn't look intimidating at all.  I did lots of research and discovered they mature at around 150 pounds or less and they were bred to graze on pasture.  I knew I didn't want a boar or a gilt (female pig) and probably wouldn't have found them anyway as KuneKune pigs are snapped up like hot cakes.  But I did finally find two neutered KuneKune pigs (called barrows) who I named Wilboar and Festus.  They were tiny at first and it was winter here so I housed them in the barn where they quickly discovered my hay.

And just as it was when the geese arrived, I was intimidated by these piglets at first.  Visions of marauding pigs floated through my head as I approached these tiny creatures cautiously.  I learned more about pigs those first few days.  First, they SQUEAL.  When they are excited, they squeal.  When they are scared, they squeal.  Even such tiny pigs can make ear splitting sounds.  And they smell.  Yes, they do.  They have a distinctive odor unlike any I've smelled.  And even with two tiny piglets, you need to be vigilant in clean up or suffer the consequences.

I introduced them slowly to the horses.

And everyone got along just fine.  Finally, it was warm enough to move them outside. And that's when the real fun began.  I learned pigs love wading pools.

And they develop bonds with each other.

It wasn't long before I was so smitten with these Kunes, I wanted more so I added another barrow, Lorenzo.

And then my fourth and final barrow named Calvin Houdini.

Calvin Houdini is not as innocent as he appears.  He knows how to climb and open gate latches and it's been hard staying one step ahead of him.

I spend time with my pigs every day.  Sometimes we play dress up.

But most of the time, we just hang out.  I'll sit with them and they will plop down right on my feet.  I'll tickle their bellies and they'll grunt with pleasure and fall fast asleep.

I've learned how friendly pigs can be, how smart they are and how easy they are to train but now and then when I carry their bucket filled with food into their pasture and they swarm around me squealing with delight, I can't help thing of Hogs Gone Wild!