With A Little Help From My Friend

I haven't felt like writing in a long time.  Although I detest using the word overwhelmed that is exactly what I've been.  Every day has brought new challenges and disappointments and while I've struggled, the weather has been anything but pleasant.  Day after day of unrelenting gray skies, freezing temperatures and wind have made me wonder if the sun would ever shine again.

There's been a lot of activity on the farm.  I've added pigs.  Two Kune Kune pet (neutered) barrows.

They are amazing creatures who have brought me much joy during these dark days.

And we have a new foal; a black filly born on my sister's birthday.

I've been spending hours watching her explore her world.  To witness her birth and to watch her progress every day has been an experience I shall always cherish.

But I'm struggling.  I feel old.  I ache and I'm tired.  One day, after doing barn chores and finding myself in excruciating pain, I actually researched retirement communities.  I envisioned myself soaking in the pool, having lunch with the ladies and living a civilized, old lady kind of life.

But the moment passed....quickly.  I can't imagine ever living anywhere but out in the country surrounded by nature and the animals I love.

And if you've ever been in a cycle where every day brings new problems and challenges, you'll understand how hard it is to keep pushing yourself.  It's easier to just lie on the couch with the television droning on and allowing yourself to sink further into inertia.

Then just when your problems seem insurmountable; as if one more thing going wrong will topple your fragile self, a ray of hope appears.

For me, it was our first warm day.  The sun was shining, no wind was blowing and for once I didn't have to be shrouded in winter apparel.  I went high on the hill to the top of the pasture and sat facing the mountains glistening in the sun.

Soon, my donkey, Jacob, came to visit me and he sat down right beside me, just like a dog would sit beside you.  I put my arms around him and had a good cry and then we sat quietly.  I don't know what he was thinking but he must have known I needed a friend.  And I was thinking that once again prayers are always answered.

I can't same I'm totally okay again.  But I'm better.  And I have hope.  And I shall climb out of the pit of despair.  With a little help from my friends.

In The Pasture...

I'm aching these days.  My body has crossed some invisible line of aging and my arthritic joints creak.  Oh,, and there's no sunshine.  Day after day of drabness comprises winter this year.  Until yesterday.  The sun decided to make a rare appearance and stay for the day and I decided it was time to find solace where I always do; in the pasture.

I climbed to the top of the hill not expecting to have any company.  The horses never travel far from the barn during winter.  I sat in the snow, gazed out over the beautiful mountains.  Lost in thought.  Alone but not for long.

Two of my mares decided to join me.

And it wasn't long before the rest followed and what happened then filled my heart with joy.  The girls decided to engage in a game of chase, running, kicking, twirling before ending up back at me.  It was as if I were home base in a game of tag.

I've decided I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.  My hope is that if your spirits are low and you are burdened, you will be able to lose yourself for just one moment in the joy of the mares as they play on a beautiful Vermont day.

We're all done playing and it's time for evening chores but the experience I've had this afternoon will stay with me forever.  Yes, I ache and yes, I'm aging.  But I promise myself to never close my eyes to the beauty that surrounds me and the joy in the simple things.

Thank you for joining my Horses In The Pasture on a beautiful winter day.

My Senior Manifesto

I admit it.  I'm older.  Headed to 60 soon and my dearly beloved is now eligible for social security.  Most people consider us old.

And yes, I had a wake up call the other evening.  I was sitting in my favorite chair, legs propped up.  Time to go to bed.  I start to rise and oh, no, I can't.  My joints had locked, specifically my hip bones did not want to  attach correctly to my legs and I was immobilized for a few seconds.  Wow, that was a sure sign my arthritis is starting to catch up with me.  Note to self:  Need to concentrate more on stretching.

Older bodies need more care.  We have to be proactive about exercise and our eating and assessing our health.

BUT being older does not mean telling yourself you can't do the things you'd like to do.

I have horses.  I spend my days mucking stalls, pitching hay, hauling water buckets and attending to their needs.  At night, I have no trouble sleeping because I'm exhausted and yes, my bones ache.  But it's a good, satisfied tired; knowing I've spent the day pursuing an interest I love.

I see so many posts lately from people saying they aren't going to continue with a hobby they love because they are too old.  Huh?  You're never too old and playing that negative message in your head only reinforces your body to believe you're old.

Instead, I'd like to see us say, "I choose to no longer do...."

Age is the final frontier.  Many people see us differently, treat us differently and think we are of no consequence because we are old.  That's just not true.

One of my favorite books, "And Ladies of The Club," was a first book written by a woman (Helen Hooven Santmyer) when she was in her 80s and what an epic book it is!

There are those of us who are suffering from serious illnesses who might not be able to pursue certain physical activities but that doesn't mean they can't find their passion for living in other things.

Age IS just a number and I truly believe you are only as old as you allow yourself to think you are.

This quote from Mark Frost should be our senior motto:

"“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body. But rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up,totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming .... WOW what a ride.”

Time for me to get up.  I shall rise slowly, hear those hips creak, rock gently back and forth to get them into place and then head out to spend time with the horses I adore.

Endings And Beginnings...

Red Pine Mountain is no more.  Oh, it's been struggling and dying a slow death.  The blog sat ignored for months and then when I restarted it, nothing felt quite right.  I made the decision not to cling to the past and to see where my new journey leads me.  And while the personas of Mountain Man and Mountain Woman are no longer, we are all still very much here.

I used to fight change.  I'd cling to sameness with a tenacity of a pit bull.  Now I'm older and wiser.  Now I know that sometimes I have to take stock and jettison what doesn't work.

All I know is life is not an end run to a final destination.  It's a journey with lots of by roads along the way.  Don't be afraid to jump off the main highway and explore.